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User:Laveah/International Rights Advocates v. Apple, Microsoft, Dell, Tesla/Sancar27 Peer Review

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General info

[edit]
Whose work are you reviewing?

Laveah

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Laveah/International Rights Advocates v. Apple, Microsoft, Dell, Tesla
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
International Rights Advocates v. Apple, Microsoft, Dell, Tesla

Evaluate the drafted changes

[edit]

The editor added 4 more sections onto this article. This is evident of an impressive amount of research on the subject. The organization is great, and the placement of these new sections fit seamlessly onto the original article. The content is all relevant and makes sense as to why the editor added them. Using specific dates and percentages are a nice touch. There is a lot of content with only three sources cited, but only one is within the footnotes. If relevant to a single source multiple times, maybe put the citation at the very end or cite it multiple times. Try to use the other two sources as a footnote as well. Overall the writing is good and easy to follow. There are some terms that may not be understand by the average person, and so going through to read one more time and link anything notable can be useful, even as small as a location or brand just to make sure. The tone is really good throughout all of the sections, it is hard to pick up any bias.